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The Important Things in Your Profile

1. Don’t Invest Too Much Time Before Meeting in Person

A listener named dayna, who met her husband on website, called into the show and offered this advice: “Read a little bit, send [potential dates] a message, and find for coffee for a half an hour.” dayna said that setting limits takes a lot of the fear away because “you’re not investing as much” in any one profile.

Limiting interaction before you meet someone in person also ensures that you won’t steal all of the magic away from that first meeting—something that Slater said a lot of the people he interviewed for his book felt was lacking.

There’s a sense of discovery that is lost in the web process,” said a caller named elena. “You read [someone’s] entire life story on their summaries about who they are, what they’re looking for. The authenticity of that first meeting—the mystery is kind of lost for me.”

2. Decide if the Story of How You Met is Important to You

If you go to a cocktail party and talk to couples, often times the conversation will go to how they met, and if you don’t have that fun story to tell, maybe, for some people, it feels like they’ve been deprived of something.”

Before venturing, figure out if the idea of a serendipitous meeting, however mundane is “preferable to what [can feel like] an overly structured way of meeting.” Because if you can’t imagine telling your grandmother that you met your “special friend” thought of lying makes you cringe, you might want to stick to the old-fashioned way of meeting someone.

 

3. Expect Some Untruths

There’s a little bit of lying everywhere. If you connect with someone off line, there’s going to be a little bit of lying that takes place. I think the live world obviously makes it a bit easier to kind of fudge your stats: men will tend to add a couple inches to their height, women will tend to shave a few pounds off their weight.”

4. Save Time and Money

You might have not thought about this before but real-world dates are generally expensive than than live date. If you add up all the costs of real world dating – gas, make-up, new clothes, eating out, entertainment costs (movie tickets, concerts etc.) – it can get really expensive. And the worst thing is that you don’t even know if you even like the person you went out with. So in the end you might lose money as well as your precious time.

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